When I was in the classroom, I was reminded daily that students love boundaries and to know where "your" line is with things. This past week I read this post CLICK HERE. It brought back 23 years of line drawing memories for my students and also for my 13 year old son who is a line "dancer".
I am a relationship builder with my students and I'm also a line drawer. I make sure students know where my line is and the consequences for crossing it. I also make sure students know the why and how of the line and how to fix something if they cross it.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do as a teacher or a parent is to hold the line. Also, some lines are "flexible" while others are not. Having policies and procedures helps students navigate your expectations as a teacher. Like most things in life some things are negotiable and some are non-negotiable. I was always upfront on Day 1 of my non-negotiables which were directly tied to being respectful, safe and responsible.
Every year there are students who are line "dancers". These students have to test and test and test and test again making sure that my line is steadfast and that if they cross I will respond. Those are the students who need me to stand the line the most. Some days they put their toes right at the edge and other days they boldly cross as if to say, "What are you going to do?" My reaction begins with a calm action such as gently closing and taking a Chromebook away to whispering in a students ear to follow me to their new seat to stepping outside to have a conversation with the student. It becomes a teachable moment where the student will have to look me in the eye as we discuss what happened and how he/she will fix it.
I am reminded every year as I watch my line "dancers" move from challenging me to working with me that I MUST HOLD the LINE. They do not lay down and become compliant, together we find a place where they can be their incredible selves without constantly testing me and the line. Usually at the end of the school year they are some of my most grateful students. For whatever reason they are thankful that I drew the line and stuck to it.
Last year I had a hard time building a relationship with April. I tried, she pushed and "danced" on the line. I held fast to my lines and held her accountable for her crossings. Most days I felt frustration as she left the room but always gave her a fresh start the next day. Then one day in the spring, she wanted to eat lunch in my classroom with a couple of friends. Then at Open House she brought her parents into my room to meet me. After promotion on the last day of school (I couldn't be a part because I was with my 7th graders) she came to my classroom to give me a hug and thank me for an awesome year. I'm not sure if it was because I held the line, but I think it might have had something to do with it.
Holding the line has ALWAYS worked out for me with my students. I've never been worried about whether or not they like me as long as they know that I respect them no matter what. Holding my line is respectful and it is something that as a parent of a teenager I find more challenging than ever.
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